Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil

Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil is a chamois cream that isn't because it's an oil. It's different to a barrier cream, Crotch Guard claiming that it works 'in' the skin rather than 'on' the skin. It's a difference that works. Really well.

• Pros: Non greasy, non smelly, absorbent, works
• Cons: Despite spray application it still needs rubbing around

Here's the science bit. Crotch Guard's maker says that the oils in its product mimic the molecular structure of phospholipids, which are lipids, a compound found in human skin. Composed of cholesterol, waxes, fatty acids, and fat soluble vitamins A, D, E and K, they strengthen and reinforce the structure of the skin. Traditional chamois creams usually provide a protective barrier to guard the skin from rubbing against other surfaces, but these can clog pores, promote ingrown hairs and stain clothing. And many of them contain irritants such as fragrance, colourings, preservatives and water, the latter of which breaks down to possibly require re-application of the cream. Crotch Guard says that as its oil supports the physiology of the skin's natural lipids it is recognised and accepted by the human body, which then absorbs it to help support the skin's natural barrier and protective functions. If this is actual Science Fact it all sounds terribly useful for the soft and tender bits that can get battered and worn when cycling.

I'm no scientist, though, and the first thing you notice about Crotch Guard is that you don't notice it. It's not greasy, it's not cold, it doesn't smell and it doesn't feel clammy like some other chamois creams can; if anything, it's a little silky. Which is nice, y'know.

If you're a little squeamish about applying any kind of balm down there then the spray-on application of Crotch Guard might ease those issues, although unless you want to be rather wasteful and spray it about everywhere it's still better to give it a couple of squirts roughly where you want it and then rub it around to get the oil into all the bits it needs to seep into.

Even so, it's a lot nicer than fingering a pot of cream and mushing it around the place. This method of application is also more hygienic than the traditional way: eliminating the risk of double-dipping and any cross-contamination that might occur.

Crotch Guard comes in 29.5ml, 118ml and 236ml bottles and a useful benefit of this smallest bottle is that it's easily packable inside a race or travel bag compared with a normal bulky pot of chamois cream, plus if you're heading off on multi-day self-supported or touring adventures you can easily hide it in a bag or pannier. And it appears to last. Crotch Guard says this little bottle should last three to four weeks of riding if used twice a day as recommended.

Some people need to lube up for the shortest of rides while others can pedal round the world without any hint of help downstairs, so your mileage will literally vary with regards to the effectiveness of any chamois cream. For me, the Crotch Guard Skin Care Oil does work, and it works very well.

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I applied Crotch Guard before the usual random day ride and on multi-day trips with hard riding each day (hot and sweaty too) and the best thing I can say is that I can say nothing much about it. It just worked. No fuss. It provided saddle comfort all day, every day, all without some of the unpleasant greasiness other chamois creams can offer. It was actually impossible to feel it was there; the only way of knowing it was working was that there was never any discomfort, rubbing, chafing of that bit that sometimes chafes, or any other sore bits, which was impressive given some of the sequential days and saddle hours done.

As well as using it pre-ride, Crotch Guard also recommends applying it post ride-and-wash to maintain healthy skin conditions, as mentioned in the science bit. I didn't do that because, um, I forgot; re-creaming is not a habit I'm used to. But actually I never felt the need because everything felt just fine down there because it just plain works.

Verdict

Not your usual chamois cream, it's a non-greasy, non-sticky and scent-free oil that just works, really well